How to build trust.

How to build trust in any relationship

If there was a way to consciously and consistently build trust with your friends, family and yes, the people at work – would you do it?
Or would you pretend you never heard of what is needed to build trust, because it’s so easy to cross those boundaries and you don’t want to have a bad conscience all the time?
 
Well, you better choose before you read on, because Brené Brown has dissected the anatomy of trust and put in an easy to remember acronym: BRAVING.
 
It’s incredibly useful and can be used as a how-to guide on building trust. So here’s what it means:
 

Boundaries:

Respect other people’s boundaries, be mindful of what’s ok for them and what not. That might also depend on the situation! If you’re not sure, ask them. And on the flip side: communicate your boundaries to others as well and let people know when they overstepped them.
 

Reliability:

Stick to your word. Only make promises you can keep. If you know a task may be too difficult for you to handle (yet), make sure to talk to your manager or others that might be able to support you.
 

Accountability:

Yep, it happens, we make mistakes. Either it’s an error in our work or we hurt those around us. The important thing is to own it, step up and apologise and do your best to make it better.
 

Vault:

This is all about confidentiality and keeping secret what was shared and is not yours to share further. So if I talk to you, I want to be sure you’re not telling the next person you meet at the coffee machine.
 
The other way around is important as well: Don’t tell me things others have shared with you in confidence.
 

Integrity:

We all have values that we hold dear. The important thing is not just to talk about them, but actually practice them. Even if it is the harder, more uncomfortable or sometimes even scary thing to do.
 

Nonjudgment:

When others come to you sharing what they need, be sure not to judge them, but stay open, curious, and compassionate. Whether they come to you feeling good or feeling bad. In the same way, dare to share with others how you are feeling and what you need as well.
 

Generosity:

Imagine someone does something that hurts or offends you. Instead of jumping to the worst conclusion about what that says about this person, be generous in your assumptions. There might be a universe where they are not out to get you, but simply had a bad day.
 
Oh, you read to the end, how very nice! But it also means you now know and might – just like I did – feel a strong sense of duty to act on this new knowledge. So how about you? Which one of these will you start practising more often from now on? 
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